Friday, February 28, 2014

Inter-Cultural Marriage - Husband Sending Money To His Family In Mexico _ Should It Stop?

Inter-Cultural Marriage - Husband Sending Money To His Family In Mexico _ Should It Stop?
I am American and my husband is Mexican. My husband is a very hard-working, patient, loving man with strong family ties and it's one of the reasons why I married him. He's the oldest son in his family. His mom and dad have struggled financially and live in Mexico. His dad works 50 + hours at a factory and is slightly past the age of retirement with no plans to retire. His mother is 50 and does not work. Living in the home is my 27 year old brother-in-law who rarely works, but will be coming here on a work visa in a few weeks, however in the past has never sent money home. Also in the home is my 24 year old brother-in-law who rarely works and is what I call a bum, but a nice one. In addition my sister-in-law and her three young daughters (2yrs-13) also live in the house. My sister-in-law does not work. They were deported and had nowhere else to go and her husband sends money when he feels like it ( he's a total ass ). We've been the one to buy the kids Christmas presents, clothing, and food. The three kids and sister-in-law have been living in the second floor my husband built and my brother-in-law has never once offered to pay rent or reimburse. Several years ago, their home had no indoor or outdoor plumbing and the toilet was an outhouse. My husband built a nice bathroom with a running shower on their property. The home used to just be a two room shack, with a dirt floor. Hubby put in a floor, a real roof, and built a second floor with two large rooms and tile floor, he also added electricity to the house. He built a pretty brick enclosed patio to encompass the property and the last time we visited we bought his mom a washing machine. As you can see, his family lacked some of things we're used to in the states. I love his family very much, especially his mother. She's a very kind woman. But, I'm extremely frustrated that the other two men in the house don't contribute financially at all. We've sent money home every month for years. We had to cut back the amount once we bought our house. Now I'm laid-off and we're expecting our first child. Much to our horror, we had to go on pre-natal Medicaid because we could not afford my husband's employer's health insurance. I've never found myself in a position where I needed assistance and it was a very difficult thing to swallow. We're living in a tight budget, paycheck to paycheck and I've found myself at 8 months pregnant, doing landscaping on the side to make ends meet. His mother called the other day and asked why we had not sent money in a couple of months. My husband sent her some money ( not a lot ) and I hit the roof. I'm very very frustrated. I understand the cultural differences and I want to respect them, but there are two grown single men in the house who do not work. No one in the family has ever had a conversation with the two men about helping out. Their friends are constantly at the house, eating his mom's food etc. Our car just broke down the other day and we're also dealing with that. My comments hurt my husband very much. As I said, I love his mother and his father and feel they're being taken advantage of too. They're very humble people and love family, but the pressure on my husband is horrible. I don't know how to address it. My husband rarely gets upset, but when I talk about it, he clams up and tells me I always complain. My understanding is that the brother-in-law ( sister-in-laws husband ) is sending money home now to his wife and three kids living in the house, but that pays for internet and food for the kids. I'm outraged by the internet thing. I think internet should be cut and it should go to pay for the extra utilities used by having 4 additional people in the house. The amount we were sending is not alot, maybe $100.00 a month, but we just can't afford it anymore. Any advice on how to go about this subject? As I mentioned before, I'm laid-off, but looking for a job. I'm currently 8 months pregnant with our first child and doing landscaping on the side to make ends meet until I find a full-time job. I respect his family and his culture, I just think there needs to be a fair division when sending money home. There are two other brother who don't work. I think the difference should be split three way between us. I don't know why it all falls on his shoulders. And right now, $100.00 is alot of money to send home. As I mentioned, we had to go on pre-natal Medicaid because we could not even afford the health insurance. Right now the two other men not working, are taking away from our child's future. Hi Mark, We're already on a very tight budget. Everything is written out, down to gas money. That's how tight things are. When our car broke down, I had to put it on a CC because we didn't have enough in the bank. I'm 8 months pregnant and work in landscaping ( weedeating, mulching, planting ) to make ends meet. We're also in the process of trying to bring his mother here on a visa, a cost of about $4,000.00 to us. We would love for her to stay with us, the woman's been taking care of children and grown children for far too long, she deserves a break. mt75689 : We both contribute financially, but I am the one who manages the bills and sends payments out for them. As it stands, after all bills are paid, including groceries etc and if we don;t go over on our gas budget or have any unexpected costs, we have $200.00 left over each month. This month was a bust, as my car broke down and I need to see a chiropractor for pregnancy sciatica, so we're in the hole $500.00 this month. Just to be clear : I don't question him wanting to send money home. I love the Latino culture. I love the people. One of the reasons I married him is because he loves his family so much. I just think there needs to be a balance between all the kids, they all need to help, not just him. Hi Mouse09 : I know he didn't marry me to use me as an anchor to support his family ( I'm not rolling in money or anything ). He already had his papers prior to our marriage anyhow. He is, in all other ways, a wonderful husband. I think this is just a big cultural difference between us. I believe there's a strong sense of pressure put on Latino sons, especially the eldest, to send money home. I agree with everything else you say. We have no business supporting able bodied grown men who don't work.
Marriage & Divorce - 10 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Yeah.. Latin people always send money home.... maybe it's for all the hard work thier parents did for them giving him the oportunity to go to America... and hey, find you.... u should send more.
2 :
Do you work? I understand that things are tough, but $100 a month isn't that much. If that is all he is sending back home, I think you should be supportive of him and try to figure out a way to bring in a little extra or cut a couple of small expenses.
3 :
My husband used to buy all kinds of things for his family and parents, pay for stuff - while they all have assets, and we are in debt. For the matter of fact when I found out how much he made, and how much debt he was in when I met him, I was shocked. Never mind all the stuff he still forked over to his family. They put the guilt trip on him, my guess. Makes me ill. They have never helped us, or offered.
4 :
First you need to increase your income and decrease you expenditures. Charge room and board, "Get a job or get out" for all 3 adults, the kids you can keep if you want to.
5 :
You don't just marry the man you marry the whole family. Sounds like his family is very interdependant. Shame you are pregnant becouse things are going to get harder for you. He needs to tell the bums to find jobs. The gravy train is over.
6 :
I think you shouldn't force this issue. This is your husband's decision to make. If he's the one paying the bills, then it's up to him to figure out how to afford sending money to his family. If you're the one paying the bills and you don't have enough money to cover everything, then go to your husband and ask him what you should do. Either way, reality will put the pressure on him instead of you being the one to do it. Trust me, as long as you keep telling your husband to not send money, and as long as you complain about his brothers, he will end up resenting you. My advice takes you out of the equation.
7 :
I would send them only 40-50 bucks tops. Sounds cruel, but the longer you send them money the more they will expect it. Or just stop altogether and tell them you can no longer send them money since you are expecting a child that you have to provide for. Or send some only on mothers day, fathers days, birthdays and christmas. You have to stand your ground with Latino men. BTW I'm Latina too.
8 :
As much as you love them, you cannot support other grown people! You are a couple now with a baby on the way. Put your foot down and say no more! If your husband objects, tell him he is going to have to make a choice, it's either his pregnant wife, or his family. You need to ask him why did he marry you? Was it just to use you to support his family? Or be an anchor and a haven for him and his family and to be here in America? As for the in-laws, they have no business having children that they cannot provide for.
9 :
I am not going to read all of this but one things you should know about their mexican culture is they will support their family before they support anyone else. My father still sends money every month to his father in mexico whether he wants new clothes or new teeth. In a mexican mans life, if you try to deny him of his family in any way, he could leave.
10 :
I think folks that you have missed the point. This woman is EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT...pregnant with their first child...and they can't even afford proper health insurance and are having to depend on Medicaid to provide health care to this expectant mother. And that means that you and I, the public tax payer, are paying for her health care. And this is a direct result of of the husband sending money to his family living in Mexico. As far as I am concerned, not one dime should leave this country WHEN it should to be used to support this man's wife and soon-to-arrive child. And why should we tax payers support this woman if it means that her husband can then send his left-over money to Mexico? It is one thing for her husband to send money home IF he can afford it AND he isn't getting the taxpayers to pay for what he should be paying for. But he shouldn't send out one single dime if we taxpayers end up paying for his generosity! To answer your question directly, yes, the money to his Mexican family should stop immediately. Your husband married you and his first duty is to provide for you and the child you made together, and his family should accept that. And if he has any money after providing for you and your child, then he may consider sending that back home, but not when his largess means that we tax payers have to pay for your health care! Good luck and God bless!





Friday, February 14, 2014

Candles good to sell in mexico?

Candles good to sell in mexico?
i was wanting to make candles and sell them in mexico because im going there and need to make side money while down there. will candles sell down there? i was thinking like virgin mary and church candles. where can i find virgin mary jars? what kind of candles will sell in mexico???
Other - Mexico - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
the market is full of cheap candles so u better think in something else....i dunno if u can sell things juss like tht ...u may have problems with the police
2 :
Once again YOU CAN NOT work in Mexico. You CAN NOT do anything re numerable. If you are apprehended for violating Mexican immigration laws you will be processed, jailed and deported in a worst case scenario. Most police will simply sieze your goods and take any money you have and spare you the system. This is where horror stories are born. You go home and tell your people how corrupt we are and that the police robbed me. This guy I knew was telling people that the police just came up and said something and put there hands out and robbed me. Did they take everything ,I said- no he replied. Tell me what you we doing 10 minutes before that. Well, I left a bar to walk home and walked into a lane to take a leak. I walked out and ran into these three cops and they robbed me. You can Not piss in public in Mexico. It is an offence punishable by three days in Jail. In this case thank God for "La Modida"
3 :
If you do not have enough money to support yourself while visiting in Mexico, DON'T GO. Stay in the U.S. and work and save your money until you do have enough. You will make FAR more money in the U.S. You truly CANNOT work in Mexico or import goods to sell in Mexico without the proper visa...and you would earn PENNIES.... if anything. How do you feel about immigrants breaking the laws in the U.S.? You would never even get into the country with a suitcase full of stuff to try to sell there.
4 :
I'm just curious why you would think people down in Mexico aren't selling everything but their baby sister to support themselves? Have you been to Mexico? I just got back from a weekend trip and let me tell you that there are MORE street vendors carrying any and all their items to sell to YOU...no the other way around...Your better off trying to make money here in the USA. Enterprising, but not realistic idea..keep trying.



Friday, February 7, 2014

I'm thinking of having a 'Miracle' to show to the public to make some extra money. Any suggestions?

I'm thinking of having a 'Miracle' to show to the public to make some extra money. Any suggestions?
I was thinking of something with the Virgin Mary. If you have a miracle with the VM you are guaranteed to get at least half of the old ladies from Mexico, Italy and Poland to show up. Maybe something big so I can draw a large crowd. I definitely want to be able to sell something ‘related’ to the 'Miracle', like the 'holy water' from Lourdes, something along those lines. And of course I can make a heap of loot on concession stands selling food and souvenirs. And a hotel, or better yet, I'll make it a 'true pilgrim experience' and have them all sleep 500 to a room on wooden bunks. Any other ideas I can steal from you? How much do I charge for admission?
Religion & Spirituality - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Yf you give me the winning lotto numbers, i will split the cash with you.
2 :
I suggest asking God to show you a better way to make money...
3 :
Add grape concentrate to water.
4 :
you shouldn't exploit people's faith and gullibility like that...
5 :
Make the Eucharist turn into a fully functional human heart, o wait that actually happened and was captured on tape, darn priests and their magic. Go to Medugorje (can not spell those Slavic places) in Croatia, then maybe you will not be so cynical about the Virgin Mary.
6 :
As a Christian - I Know that Jesus DOES DO Miracles - I for one am Praying that My husband will find a GOOD PAYING job so that we can MOVE out of this state - where we currently reside in to a MUCH BETTER PLACE! Peace and Grace be unto you! Take Care and God Bless!
7 :
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR "LOOT" WHILE YOU CAN CAUSE WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN JESUS HIMSELF IS GONNA KNOCK YOUR AZZ OUT FOR BEING SUCH A DICK. AS FOR ADMISSION WHY DONT YOU TAKE THEIR SOULS, GET YOU READY FOR YOUR JOB REQUIRMENTS IN YOUR AFTERLIFE.
8 :
You can make common everyday hammers and put the intials JC on them and call them the hammers Jesus used.


Saturday, February 1, 2014

Why won't Mexico re-form their country? Maybe illegals would stop free loading off the U.S?

Why won't Mexico re-form their country? Maybe illegals would stop free loading off the U.S?
Instead of the U.S spending millions (if not Billions soon) on welfare, housing, medical, etc for ILLEGAL immigrants, wouldn't it make more sense to give Mexico this money to help them re-form their country. Isn't that why they are running across the border because life is "Supposedly" better here? Work on building business, schools, tourism etc in Mexico, so they can become more self sufficient. I work with a woman from Mexico, she's always going on about how she doesn't want to live in CA anymore, How mexico beaches are nicer, and how they had a nice home in a nice area, she says it's not the slums CNN would have you think. Wouldn't they go back if their country was in better shape???? I agree with "constructive" criticism. I DO believe immigrants have a right to a better life. But wouldn't they prefer to have it in their Home Country?? All I am saying is, instead of spending millions fighting them, why not spend that money helping them stay in their home country, in the long run, we will save money and American Culture too. To Nuttybrunett- Your name fits you PERFECTLY.
Immigration - 12 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
why would the Mexico corrupt gov't change? 1.) Mexico Encourage it's people to move to USA. 2.) it's people send back billions $$$ per year back to Mexico. 3.) free perks in USA at US taxpayers expense!!
2 :
We should just invade Mexico and make it our 51st State.
3 :
put yourself in an immigrants shoes,they only want a better way of life
4 :
NO WAY! So we are going to fix up there ENTIRE run down country just because they have supposedly scared us with all this "viva raza" bullshit. No way in hell!!!!
5 :
Their government is too corrupt and forcibly making them change would be invading their country, wouldn't it? Do we really want a war with Mexico?
6 :
yes but america should not have to give mexico money .........mexico's horrible gov't wont try to change much...............i was born here ....but wow it sucks over there i hate it
7 :
American businesses are freeloading off of cheap labor from immigrants. Take a look at all of the cleaning services, lawn services, janitorial services, factory, construction, trench-digging, garbage-handling, crop-picking, it's all done by immigrants because American businesses know they won't have to pay them as much or give them health insurance or anything. Try looking past the surface of the problem before making any judgments. Those immigrants (including illegals) do nothing but work hard when they get to this country, and hard work is what the US was built on. Only a small percentage of immigrants actually come here to be criminals.
8 :
Not smart enough
9 :
so, what you are saying is that it's Mexico's fault for all the illegals that come from that country and that it's not the fault of illegal immigrants themselves? then I agree.
10 :
No, not money, each illegal should be given a copy of Henry David Thoreau's "civil disobedience", in Spanish, and told to get in touch with the Zapatains, change it themselves. could you imagine an army of 12 to 20 million. Viva Zapata!
11 :
This is a very touchy subject. What are you really saying? She's right, their beaches are better. And everybody has a right to a better life if they pursue it. At least they work hard. And they work the jobs that most people won't do. Have you seen the movie "Where did All The Mexicans Go?' We'll there you have it. Sounds to me like you don't like Mexican people. You have a lot of Americans on welfare too. So what do you have to say about that? I think maybe your just a little jealous of that woman from Mexico. What culture are you? Have you ever been poor. Have you ever been without? Why don't you call your Government and ask them? I agree with JZA.
12 :
I totally agree with you. If Mexico wasn't in such a bad shape, and had a good economy, immigrants wouldn't be lining up to get in here.